Most likely we have increasingly been with others when conversations turn heavy with expressions of fear, anger and uncertainty about current events along with helplessness to do anything about it. It can feel like it’s the dark of night, unsure if the sun will rise in the morning. It is so easy to merge with this vibration, especially when the news and social media seem to confirm and exaggerate the negative aspects of “reality”.
How can I be an effective agent of hope and even joy, when the prevailing feeling of hopelessness surrounds me? It starts with Viktor Frankel’s message in “Man’s Search for Meaning” that our only freedom is to choose our attitude in any situation. Perhaps something as simple as choosing to smile might provide a pathway towards the light.
“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy” Thich Nhat Hahn
With this as my hypothesis, I decided to begin an experiment to see if I could be an agent of hope and joy by making eye contact and greet with a smile, a nod and perhaps a “hi” with every person encounter on the sidewalk. Fortunately, I live in a populated area with a fair amount of foot traffic all year, so opportunities are plentiful.
My experience
- My attempt to connect with acknowledgement and a smile is ignored by the majority of those who pass by me. They are mirror images of my habitual, self-absorbed self when my connection to people, nature and life around me is obfuscated by my being lost in thoughts and feelings from the past and potential future. I find that I connect with them even if it’s not mutual and I am appreciative for the reflection. I share the weight of their preoccupation, even for a passing moment. And if they are engaged in noticeably amicable conversation with another or others, I feel the friendship.
- The energy shifts when my smile and positive acknowledgment is met with a reciprocating smile. I feel a joyful connection flowing between us, even if it’s fleeting.
- I am finding myself smiling more as I walk, even if there is no one around. My steps seem lighter and I remain more in the moment.
Joy in Times of Challenge
From walking on the sidewalks to journeying through life.
This simple exercise has implications for how I “walk” through life. Connecting with eyes and smiles certainly is pleasurable, however the experience would be nullified if those who did not reciprocate created disappointment, resentment or a sense of failure on my part. Without expectations, I acknowledge the value of each interaction and move on to welcome the next. I continue smiling even if there is no one to encounter.
So where do we find these joyful connections that maintain us when pedestrian traffic is not available?
This relatively brief experiment of connecting with pedestrians has started to form the habit of “getting out of my head” in general. This has allowed me the freedom to connect with everything and everybody in a more meaningful way. I find myself smiling at the bushes, trees, flowers, birds, clouds and even sounds and smells that I previously ignored! I also find myself smiling at myself, when I realize one of my foibles. At the same time, I have found myself using more of my time reading uplifting books and listening to more genres of music, amplifying smiles. This attitude of indiscriminate acknowledgement, acceptance and celebration provides me with an energy that lasts throughout the day. All initiated with the simple act of smiling!
Neurological research has shed some light on my experiment’s result by demonstrating “emotional contagion” resulting from a smile. I have experienced this “contagion” as I feel a definite exchange of positive energy and deeper connection between us when the person smiles back at me. I’m left wondering whether this contagion could extend beyond the two directly involved—and if so, how far it might spread. And if I enter a conversation heavy with fear and hopelessness, how a simple smile and a positive attitude might lighten the atmosphere? I look forward to extending my experiment into these environments.
Living a path of spirituality and joy
Grounded in years of participation in a spiritual path that includes meditation, study, and group work, this experiment has allowed the integration of the smile to quickly become part of my practice. I have found various opportunities to expand on this simple but profound experience which include:
- Faking it whether I feel like it or not. I try not to let uncomfortable physical, emotional or psychological situations keep me from smiling. I take a deep breath and smile.
- Looking for a humorous book, podcast or movie when not feeling like it.
- Joining others who are also focused on uplifting activities and discussions. We laugh more easily in a group and feed off of each other’s positive energy.
- Smiling at myself as I do with the unresponsive pedestrian on the street when I am preoccupied.
- Continuing to find more opportunities to smile.
Be contagious!
“NeuroImage”, Volume 320, 15 October 2025, 121462
Your smiles inspired my smiles: the interpersonal neural coupling of positive emotion contagion during social interactions
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1053811925004653
