We live during a time when uncertainty seems to be here to stay. In this context, sometimes fear subtly and silently appears within us, and other times, it overwhelmingly reminds us of our vulnerability.
We frequently think that spirituality or mysticism deals with topics far removed from our everyday reality, such as our relationship with our emotions. Particularly, in our relationship with fear, which is an emotion we all experience.
The path of self-knowledge teaches us to have a curious and non-judgmental look at ourselves. In this way, we can learn to relate with our emotions as messengers that bring us information about our inner world. When we open this inner space of trust and acceptance, fear stops being a paralyzing shadow, and its energy turns into an opportunity for growth, strength and meaning.
This is an invitation to stop seeing fear as an enemy, and instead, to consider it as a messenger of the inner path.
“My friend fear”
For a while now, I’ve been watching fear poke its head out, as if it wanted to come in without me noticing it. And I see myself trying to close the door on it, trying not to let it in. But I finally stop and open the door.
I greet it, “Hello, what brings you here?”
It doesn’t answer. It looks at me with a scared face. It doesn’t really know why it has come.
I ask it, “Is it because the trip we’re going to take is approaching?”
It looks at me half-lost, as if to say: it could be…
“Come in,” I say, “sit down. Let’s chat for a while.”
It sits before me.
“Know what?” I say, “I know you’re always there, behind that door, half hidden.” It nods shyly.
“I don’t want to see you either. That’s why, even though you were announcing yourself, I didn’t pay attention to you. I wanted to ignore you, to pretend that you didn’t appear. I’m sorry, I didn’t do that on purpose. That’s why I let you in.”
I also tell it, “I want to offer you some minutes because I know you need attention. I know you need me to listen to you, to offer you the opportunity to give me the message you want to give me.”
It speaks for the first time, “Yes, I’m scared. The trip, the 200 people, the public speech… It seems like a lot, a lot of fatigue, a lot of energy.”
“Yes, you’re right… And what else?”
“Travelling… again. I feel uncomfortable while you’re preparing things. I have some bad memories…”
“True, last year was pretty rough. I understand you. And what else?”
“Getting out of the routine, eating different things, going back and forth, body and head feeling bothered again. The eyes still get irritated…”
“Yes, that’s also true. And what else?”
“This is not new, but the void, the loneliness still scares me.”
“Ok, that´s true, but now they scare you less, right?”
“Yes, that’s right, they scare me less. I’m getting used to them…”
“That’s it! You’re already becoming used to them. Do you see how it goes? You gradually get accustomed. Nothing lasts forever. Everything keeps changing. Anything else?”
“No, I think that’s all for now,” it says, a bit hesitantly.
“Great, you saw that we gradually get accustomed to things and they don’t scare you so much. We have already gone through moments like these and everything worked out ok, right?”
“Yes, that´s true, better than expected… I was surprised.”
“Excellent! And all is going to go well now too. We have prepared ourselves enough; we have foreseen everything that could be foreseen…”
“Yes, I felt very comfortable last time, I wasn’t scared; things flowed.”
“Exactly, that’s how it was. I could even tell you that we enjoyed it, right?”
“Sure…”
“And this time, we’re also going to enjoy it … Come on, cry, that’s good… That way you will calm down.”
Wiping away its tears, it says, “Thank you, it didn’t seem so important to me, but…”
“That’s right, we must talk more frequently. Things pile up… And well, you know, the body will do its best not to become dysregulated. But we know that it always dysregulates a little, and nothing serious happens. It knows how to return to normal. We are prepared.”
“Yes, it’s true. We have overcome much worse things so far…” And it smiles for the first time.
“Are you feeling better?”
“Yes, I feel better. Thank you for sparing me this time, and for listening to me.” And it takes a deep sigh. It looks relieved.
“Thank you for looking after me, for being attentive so that nothing bad happens to me.”
And it leaves.
That´s my friend, fear.
Spirituality can open us to trust in the midst of uncertainty
Inner work helps us to relate to fear and uncertainty, instead of avoiding them, denying them, or becoming hopeless. Sometimes, we “fear” fear.
When we face what happens to us without judgement, and simply “listen”, we stop fighting ourselves, and a door opens to new possibilities. Retained energy is released and we can move forward, we can trust.
In traversing the path of Cafh, I have learnt that the true support of my life—the only possible security—is in my own Being, and that inner work is the process I go through to access that intimate and sacred space.
Learn more about the method of Cafh.
